his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
