How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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