Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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