Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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