hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
