I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
