You kept calling me your small dog last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
