She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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