Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
