dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
