Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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