I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
