When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
operation harelip BJ is a go
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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