So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
