just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
