I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize