like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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