the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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