i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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