who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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