bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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