And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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