hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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