; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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