She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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