i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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