Texts From Last Night

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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.

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  (709): just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq. http://tfl.nu/wl24
  Replies (16) Good night (4829) Bad night (536)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag

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  (480): The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag http://tfl.nu/fc0e
  Replies (134) Good night (1327) Bad night (4804)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I think college has really matured you.

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  (901): Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front. (662): I think college has really matured you. http://tfl.nu/th4l
  Replies (19) Good night (4380) Bad night (491)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.

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  (256): he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed. http://tfl.nu/1iir
  Replies (31) Good night (773) Bad night (6933)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated

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  (703): i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated http://tfl.nu/8rnc
  Replies (13) Good night (4496) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...

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  (760): Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom... http://tfl.nu/f7p5
  Replies (18) Good night (1287) Bad night (6153) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Did I show you my penis last night?

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  (307): Did I show you my penis last night? http://tfl.nu/i066
  Replies (29) Good night (6938) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!

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  (203): Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling! http://tfl.nu/pnvd
  Replies (0) Good night (1611) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.

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  (972): Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention. http://tfl.nu/nbnk
  Replies (21) Good night (614) Bad night (2500) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words

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  (802): Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words http://tfl.nu/ilbf
  Replies (0) Good night (848) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.

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  (772): I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison. http://tfl.nu/yxd5
  Replies (2) Good night (841) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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  (402): I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men. http://tfl.nu/t0j9
  Replies (14) Good night (2506) Bad night (474)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents

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  (519): I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents http://tfl.nu/4hgt
  Replies (2) Good night (1229) Bad night (248) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was a book called Gay Safari.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.

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  (410): It was a book called Gay Safari. (443): I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel. http://tfl.nu/jo6k
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (167)
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  (707): View more from California

  I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?

  (650): View more from California

  There is so much wrong with that sentence

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real

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  (707): I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom? (650): There is so much wrong with that sentence (707): Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real http://tfl.nu/wzrt
  Replies (5) Good night (814) Bad night (327)

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