I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
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my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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