Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
