ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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