you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
