Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
