Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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