My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
