going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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