i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
