My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
