For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The uberlube is also flammable
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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