He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
