yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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