Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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