I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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