it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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