Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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