just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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