So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
