problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
