I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
