Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Will exercising make me less horny?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
