i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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