its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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