He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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