So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
