How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
