I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.