I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.