Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
