How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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