he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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