i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
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How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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