I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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