i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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