I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
